Too much excitement...

As I was driving home this afternoon, I got a call from my contractor, who's also a good friend, I was on a call when his call came in (built in Bluetooth is the best thing ever invented) and I missed his call. I was hoping he was in my driveway ready to install my dishwasher. I called him back, straight to voicemail....

So I called Bitty, who was home, and asked if Dan was there. Nope. Then I heard from Dan's wife, she let me know Dan had just driven by my road and seen a ton of cop cars, were we ok? I told her I'd just talked to Bitty and he knew nothing. I was almost home by then....

At the road before mine I see a SWAT vehicle and an officer in a bullet proof vest getting back in his car...

We live on a private drive with only a half dozen houses on it. When I pulled into the private drive I found two cop cars parked across it... I signaled that I needed in, one moved aside. The other officer waved and got out.

He said "I have your kids in my car"

"why are my kids in your car!!"

Heart stopping...

He said there was a situation, but the suspect was in custody....

The boys scurried into my car. Whew.

Apparently there was a manhunt in our neighborhood, including a run through our back yard by the suspect...

The officer told me my dogs didn't freak out until he (the officer) knocked on the front door to make sure our doors were locked. (Bitty was home and did not hear anything). 
 
The officer blocking the private drive said it had come across the radio that they had the suspect at gunpoint just as the little ones got off the bus ... So the officer just put the boys in his car. To keep them safe. Thank goodness. 

We pulled in the drive and went home.

We watched them walk the guy to the cop car while we walked into the house. I asked the officer who stopped by the house immediately afterwards, to make sure we were ok what the story was. He mumbled something about the guy living a block over. I'll have to check the paper to see if there's any additional info.

We peeked out the windows and saw police from 3 or 4 different agencies.

The next door neighbor was on the main road, trying to turn in when I pulled up and they didn't let her down the drive for 20 minutes? I think they let us in cause I told them Bitty was home alone.

The boys don't seem too freaked out and will have a great story to tell. Everyone is fine. Although Birdy tried to tell me he thought it was a kidnapping plot... Lol Ptah assured me the whole thing was cool. That boy.   :)

Exciting huh? Thinking to turn the alarm system back on.... and take the local cops cookies.

All the mother I know how to be

How do you balance your need to reach out for help with your child's need for piracy and dignity?

I've got an 11 year old running my household with tantrums and aggression.

Birdy has always been an emotional and high maintenance child. I think if he were an only child it wouldn't be so hard, because he could be catered to. But he's not.

He's part of a family. And being part of a family means accepting compromises, taking responsibility, doing things you don't want to do and not getting to do other things you want to do. It means you sit next to people in the car.  And they touch you. It means life isn't always fair. Normal life....

Any of these can set him off. We have discovered that if left entirely alone and allowed to go hide, (sometimes for hours, or even overnight) there are no further repercussions, (as long as you don't try to talk to him about his poor choices). If I try to block him from hiding he hits, bits, scratches, head butts, and screams about how I'm torturing him, he hates me, I'm not a mother, we aren't a family and he wishes he were dead.

I changed jobs and took a hefty pay cut in part so I could be home more. I'm trying to implement more rigid routines and structure. (My own personal lack of motivation often interferes).

Meanwhile, we can't go anywhere, because he's hiding in his room... 

And then the switch flips and he's smiling while he helps with laundry, tells me dishes are his favorite, and gives me his candy, because he knows I love dark chocolate.

Cognitive behavioral therapy didn't help, we're on the waitlist for psych/developmental/ot Evals. He needs something more than I'm providing and I don't know if I'm capable of providing it.

Maybe I'll write...

A friend suggested if I blogged again she'd read it... I do like writing, I like the way the words attempt to share my thoughts. They're pretty.

In 100 days I will be 40. This terrifies me. By 40 I'm supposed to be graceful, articulate, skinny, physically fit, well dressed, have a tidy and orderly well decorated home.  My children should be happy and well adjusted, well on their way to being successful, independent men who love their momma, but can tie their own shoes. My yard should be filled with vegetables, flowers and animals, and pretty.

Yeah.... in reality I hope for clean dishes and folded laundry. But that's only gonna happen if I get off the couch. An email or spontaneous text from the kids who aren't home would be awesome, and hugs. Pretty sure the email will happen, and the hugs. Teenagers are busy people, they have things to do.

Since I haven't written in 357 years, quick update. Tater is off on a mission for The Church of Latter Day Saints. Super proud of him. He's currently at the missionary training center in Provo Utah. He will depart for Panama City, Panama the end of April.

Tang is a senior and going to play college football. Somewhere. Maybe in North Dakota. He's 6'2", blonde, blue eyes. Adorable, yet intimidating.

Itty is 16. We are at war. By requiring him to ssh anything he doesn't want to do I am infringing on his free agency and in the devil's side. He's also learning to drive.

Birdy is 11. Very bright young man. Taking advanced classes next year. Awesome.

Ptah is freaking adorable. Sweet, kind, obsessed with baby jaguars.

Rah is hard working, kind and amazing too. I have pretty awesome kids.

Now... I really need to go do those dishes...

Exclusively uncommitted

I'm a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have strict chastity standards. Especially for our youth. But the interpretation and implementation of those standards gets twisted sometimes...

The youth in my area have interpreted the recommendation to avoid exclusive dating as license to involve themselves in random meaningless physical contract.

The primary intent of discouraging exclusive dating is to prevent inappropriate physical contact, to encourage chastity. The idea being that a long term relationship encourages an increase in being comfortable being physically intimate. The rise of non committal make out sessions (ncmos)is certainly not what the prophet intended. But that is what seems to happening here.

Additionally any youth who does commit to a relationship, rather than being guided in correct behavior and appropriate boundaries, is instead publicly mocked and scorned as being inappropriate and violating church standards.

Not only by the very youth who brag about kissing more people then they can count, but also by the adults. Who then become complicit in the discouragement of loyalty and chastity in their desire to encourage the youth to abide by "the standards."

The scorn heaped on the youth for being in a relationship drives them to seclude themselves, leading to more possibilities for temptation. If couples are spending time in public, they cannot get in as much trouble as they can if hiding their relationship.

Apparently, it is "against church standards" to be involved in a six month relationship with someone whose company you enjoy and you sincerely care for, but kissing more people then you can count is perfectly acceptable. There is something wrong with this idea.

Are we really supposed to be teaching our youth that loyalty and sincere feelings are to be avoided?

We are looking at the cross hairs of the scope so hard that we are missing the target!!! The goal is not to avoid dating. The goal is to remain chaste and avoid getting emotionally involved before we are ready. Avoiding exclusive dating is one means of staying chaste. But in my opinion, when the youth involve themselves in meaningless physical relations anyway, they are damaging their spirits in all the same ways, and more besides.

The old fashioned standard of chaperones and avoiding being alone together will also keep them safe. And that is what we all want, for them to be safe.

The idea of casual dating is to encourage the youth to learn to be friends, but in practice it has become casual physical contact. Which is dangerous. Physical contact had become meaningless as they are not avoiding kissing, they are just avoiding caring about the people they kiss!!

She's a runner

I have a dog that is crazy. She runs. Then she laughs at me. Then she barks all night and keeps the neighbor up and they are sick and tired of it.. I'm going to start documenting when she's in or out. So that they can't blame me on nights she's in. Or I'm going to find her a new home.

Sleeping with the fish....

Bitty took his fish with him to his friends house....

Be Offensive...

Veiw from the back, no the front, no the... I have no idea...

A strange twist to living in the PNW... Sometimes you have to take a ferry to get to places... like wrestling tournaments... And sometimes, those ferries require you to back onto them... they also require school buses to back on to them... It's fun to watch....







Itty had his Regional Wrestling tournament today. HE WAS AWESOME. He did not get pinned, he almost won his first match, and had he won that one he would likely have taken first. Instead, he took third. I was so proud of him today. /sniff

He has an amazing Defense, he just needs to be more offensive....


Itty also had the option to attend a "black & white" dance... He wore a black shirt, black slacks and a white tie. :D He was gorgeous.

I make attractive children. It's amazing.



Tang stayed home and watched Birdy, Ptah and the recovering Rah. While Tang, Birdy & Ptah were tidying the patio (oh my it is pretty, I'll have to take a picture), Rah conspired to lock them all out....

He survived the wrath of Tang.

I know, I need to paint the other chair...

Meanwhile Tater went on an elaborate date to a dance with a well dressed young woman. I snuck into the the dance that Tater was attending to oooh and aaah the decor and admire my handsome son and his beautiful date. They were stunning.

He is gorgeous.

You may ask where crazed is during all of this? He has flown the coop, off to somewhere too far away to rationally drive for a few days to spend time with his family. Yay for Crazed!!