Exclusively uncommitted

I'm a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have strict chastity standards. Especially for our youth. But the interpretation and implementation of those standards gets twisted sometimes...

The youth in my area have interpreted the recommendation to avoid exclusive dating as license to involve themselves in random meaningless physical contract.

The primary intent of discouraging exclusive dating is to prevent inappropriate physical contact, to encourage chastity. The idea being that a long term relationship encourages an increase in being comfortable being physically intimate. The rise of non committal make out sessions (ncmos)is certainly not what the prophet intended. But that is what seems to happening here.

Additionally any youth who does commit to a relationship, rather than being guided in correct behavior and appropriate boundaries, is instead publicly mocked and scorned as being inappropriate and violating church standards.

Not only by the very youth who brag about kissing more people then they can count, but also by the adults. Who then become complicit in the discouragement of loyalty and chastity in their desire to encourage the youth to abide by "the standards."

The scorn heaped on the youth for being in a relationship drives them to seclude themselves, leading to more possibilities for temptation. If couples are spending time in public, they cannot get in as much trouble as they can if hiding their relationship.

Apparently, it is "against church standards" to be involved in a six month relationship with someone whose company you enjoy and you sincerely care for, but kissing more people then you can count is perfectly acceptable. There is something wrong with this idea.

Are we really supposed to be teaching our youth that loyalty and sincere feelings are to be avoided?

We are looking at the cross hairs of the scope so hard that we are missing the target!!! The goal is not to avoid dating. The goal is to remain chaste and avoid getting emotionally involved before we are ready. Avoiding exclusive dating is one means of staying chaste. But in my opinion, when the youth involve themselves in meaningless physical relations anyway, they are damaging their spirits in all the same ways, and more besides.

The old fashioned standard of chaperones and avoiding being alone together will also keep them safe. And that is what we all want, for them to be safe.

The idea of casual dating is to encourage the youth to learn to be friends, but in practice it has become casual physical contact. Which is dangerous. Physical contact had become meaningless as they are not avoiding kissing, they are just avoiding caring about the people they kiss!!